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Joke of the Day

"How did Lex Luthor hide his money laundering from superman? He used a krypton-currency."

"An atheist, a vegan, and a Crossfitter walked into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."

"Whats the name of the arachnid playwright?"

"I can't believe it's been 5 years since Tyler Perry's Hurricane Katrina."

"I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs."

"I can't believe I just found out R.E.M. split up. I suppose the rest of the band just weren't Michael's type."

"News: German diver receives a 0.0 score. Apparently, Olympic judges don't appreciate cannon balls."

"I was only young when I learned to count....... I was only young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then."

"Q: What do astronauts eat for dinner? A: Launch meat."

"In elementary I got all the chicks because my box of crayons had a built-in sharpener. Been on a dry spell ever since. Just me & my crayons."