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Joke of the Day

"When you say ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans"" all I hear is ""there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"Are all females on twitter moms? Is my mom here? Mom? You there doin drunk tweets?"

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"""Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks."" --William Shakespeare (i think)"

"Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention? Thankfully there were no souls on board."

"What do an eagle and a broom have in common? They both fly but the broom doesn't."

"yo momma so fat the back of her neck is like a pack of hot dogs"

"What did the redneck say after his girlfriend swallowed? You gots the purdiest tooth I ever comed across, Sis."

"What is a Siths favorite thing to ride in? An elevader."

"I hate tacos Said no Juan ever"