218909

Joke of the Day

"Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster... Just made it a bit sluggish."

"#MyHomelessSignWouldSay Obama aint the only one who wants change"

"Some asshole just clogged my toilet"

"My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't stop cheating on her Damn, I never thought she took a card game this seriously."

"I really want to kill my roommate but I just dont know if I could live with myself."

"Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels she strikes oil!"

"69 Position I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Where does a one legged waitress work at? IHOP"

"I didn't sleep well last night so I made my coffee with redbull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car."

"What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop? WRAP MUSIC!"