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Joke of the Day

"Happy anniversary to the love of my life.. and her husband Jonathan."

"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."

"Why did Jesus lose his Halo? Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn."

"If vampires like the taste of blood so much they should floss."

"Did you hear about the guy how lost his whole left side? He's alright now."

"No love I have for someone could ever be strong enough to make me think it was appropriate to stand side-by-side with them on an escalator"

"What's the difference between a Kit Kat and an Essex girl? You can only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat."

"What makes the Japanese better than Al Qaeda? At least the Japanese were considerate enough to bring their own planes"

"After the poor quality of the front page lately This new algorithm better be so good I can read about news before it happens"

"Two guys walk into a bar One guy says, 'I'd like some H2O.' The other guy says, 'I'd like some H2O, too.' The second guy died. The bartender is a chemist."