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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a zombie steals an idea Plaguegiarism Jesus Christ dafuq is wrong with me"

"What do ghosts give birth to? Boo-bies."

"An egg sits perfectly balanced on the apex of a roof, the wind blows south, which way does the egg fall? Down. The egg falls down."

"A friend wants me to try speed dating, but I'm not sure that finishing *even faster* is going to help me with the ladies"

"Fat chicks don't get wet..... They get greasy"

"So I visited Willy Wonka's chocolate factory the other day.. Yeah the snozberries really did taste like snozberries but the dingleberries tasted like shit!"

"Which villain did Batman face when he suffered a fatal masturbation accident? Deathstroke."

"I have a friend named Jay. We call him J for short."

"I have just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way."

"Did you try turning your relationship off and then back on again?"