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Joke of the Day

"If Oliver Stone is being a stone and Michael Bay is being a bay, then what is Anthony Weiner being? Bullied"

"Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts"

"They asked me where I would be in 5 years... I said I don't know I don't have 2020 vision."

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and only got a toaster."

"Wanna hear a knock knock joke? Two men walk into a bar. (credit to my friend who has no Reddit account)"

"You hear the one about the sexually adventurous Eskimo? You name it, he was Inuit!"

"What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a nymphomaniac with diarrhea? One shucks between fits"

"NEMESIS: i hate you ME: i hate me too. and the enemy of my enemy is my friend NEMESIS: so can you stay the night? ME: i'll ask my mom"

"'Pardon my French' -People who you would never pardon and who don't know any French"