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Joke of the Day
"If babies knew how shitty life gets they wouldn't be giggling so much. Ignorant little bastards."
Next Joke
"Who is Jay Gatsby's favorite superhero? Green Lantern. And his least favorite? Deadpool."
"whats a ghost's favorite fruit? booberries!"
"Did you hear about the new morning-after pill for men? It changes your blood type"
"[comes home from store] Wife: [shaking her head] Let me guess... earmuffs were on sale? Me: [wearing 17 pairs of earmuffs] WHAT?"
"Why are the labia on Japanese women oriented sideways instead of vertically? Goes better with their eyes."
"Just saw a pirated movie On a scale of 1-10, I'd give a 3.14"
"My fish makes so much noise during the night that I wake up six times a night to ask him if we are fighting"
"""I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean."" -Unorganized Crime"
"I thought i saw an ocean filled with orange soda It turns out it was just a Fanta-sea"