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Joke of the Day

"HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE: It takes 24,637 BOLTS to put a car together, but only one NUT to spread it all over the road. Don't Drink & Drive!"

"The first rule of crossword club is (3,2,3,4,5,9,4)"

"The baby's trying to eat the poinsettia again Well, maybe we should get rid of it The plant? But we just got it . . .Haha yeah, the plant"

"What was the first reference to pole vaulting in the Bible? When Jesus cleared the temple."

"This Subreddit."

"Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*"

"The Energizer Bunny is starting a career in porn... They put his batteries in backwards and he keeps coming and coming and coming."

"We're supposed to get snow, But right now it's still up in the air."

"I'm writing a song about milking a cow. It's all quarter notes."

"Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer."