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Joke of the Day
"Why did the bartender put on a sweater? She thought it was a little drafty."
Next Joke
"Michaelangelo: Yea, sure, I'll paint your ceiling. *To himself* Errybody gon be naked tho."
"I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I'm going to be too busy sitting on mine"
"What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slow swimmer"
"[OC] Why does the NSA hate winter? Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)"
"What do you call two gay chickpeas? Hummusexuals."
"Bought a shirt in the UK. Care instructions say ""iron whilst damp."" I still have no idea when to iron that thing."
"Why did Baby Moses believe he was Egyptian? Because he was in da Nile."
"Yo mama so fat... that when she has threesomes the dudes never meet."
"Whenever I call my husband to wash the dishes, I am reminded what a great lover he is. He never comes quickly."