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Joke of the Day
"I am as a wake as a funeral."
Next Joke
"Wanna hear a short joke? Leafy's chin"
"Make it a Great Friday by not getting nailed to a cross."
"How do you get rid of a fat ghost? Exorcise it."
"I made two New Year's resolutions: my first is to stop procrastinating I'll make my second one later"
"""How much for this toaster?"" ""An arm & a leg."" ""How about a leg & 2 fingers?"" ""A leg & 3 fingers."" ""Deal!"" - Cannibal Pawn Stars"
"Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream."
"What is the opposite of pro? Con. What is the opposite of progress? Congress."
"Made the mistake of dropping my pants when my dentist put on latex gloves."
"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere **Knock Knock** Who's there? Not Sally."