21804

Joke of the Day

"18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds."

"If I ever had to hear ""Margaritaville"" in its entirety I would strangle myself to death."

"What you call a responsible porn star? Fistfully conservative!"

"What do you give a Greek man with a scratchcard? A coin to scratch it with."

"If storks bring human babies what bring monster babies? Cranes."

"I have an inferiority complex..... It's not a very good one, though."

"Me: My room is in shambles. Where do I start cleaning!? *5mins later* Me: I need a new room."

"how did I escape iraq iran"

"I am a recovering addict... I was addicted to the hokey pokey... But I turned myself around."

"This summer, while visiting Europe, I had a blast in Florence. She seemed to enjoy herself too."