21803

Joke of the Day

"""I've been a very bad girl. I need to be punished."" She said... ""Very well.."" I replied.. installing windows 8 on her laptop."

"What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark!"

"What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign? Iran, Iraq, I lost"

"They add a scent to natural gas so we can smell it if there's a leak and we're in danger. Same reason Axe Body Spray has a scent."

"A Cannibals's Dinner Party If a cannibal is throwing a dinner party, don't show up late. Otherwise you'll get the cold shoulder."

"I was shopping with my wife the other day and saw a TV on sale for $20... It said that the volume was stuck on full. I looked at my wife and said ""I can't turn this one down!"""

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it."

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"I tried to do A minor once... But my fingers were to short to reach it on the keyboard"

"""This is so wrong,"" I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut"