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Joke of the Day
"Cinderella is my favorite story about choosing a spouse based on shoe size."
Next Joke
"Clerk: Why do you need 200 condoms? Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals"
"What do you call tree sap that won't stop running? Forest gunk."
"Niece: I like math M: 5 X 1? N: 5 M: *takes out phone* right N:You're using your phone? M: I got a text N: I didnt hear a sound *runs away*"
"Ted Cruz should have been forced to carry his Campaign to term... Terminating it is unchristian afterall"
"Cop: Freeze! Suspect: Try and catch me! *dives into Olive Garden's bottomless pasta bowl* Rookie: We gotta go after him! Cop: No. He's gone."
"What's the worst hereditary disease? Cousins"
"Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system? Because 7 ate 9."
"Today my mum told me I wasn't an only child.... Today my mum said that I was an only child. I said, I already knew that mum seeing as dad is in jail for rape."
"What do you call a fish without an eye? A Fsh"