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Joke of the Day

"Girls, If your boyfriend has to ask you for a blowjob... You've failed."

"Which is the only bank that drug tests all of its employees? PNC"

"Q: What holds the moon up? A: Moonbeams."

"Q: Why did the baker have brown hands? A: Because he kneaded a poo."

"Runs away from you... Looks back to laugh at you... Runs into pole."

"[15 years ago] Mom: Use protection. I'm too young to be a nana [Now] M: I'll pay for the Russian mail order bride. I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!"

"For my birthday, I got a Rolex from my lesbian neighbor. I think she misunderstood me when I told her I wanna watch."

"1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank."

"ISIS is knocking on my door recruiting... Cause I just bombed this physics test."

"My little sister made a face at my mom and said ""Guess who I am?"" My mom answered ""Who?"" ""Your daughter"" courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago"