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Joke of the Day

"I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely"

"What is a witch's favourite TV show? Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!"

"My father's sister is obsessed with killing germs, we call her Auntie Bacterial."

"Two snowmen are standing in a snowy field... And after 3 hours of complete silence, one turns to the other and asks ""Can you smell carrots?"""

"the early bird gets the worm but so does the bird that gets outta bed around 1pm because there are plenty of worms out there believe me"

"Hell hath no fury like woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat."

"I got fired from my job at the Orange Juice factory They said I couldn't concentrate"

"why did the man cross the road? he had his dick stuck in a chicken"

"I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney does to poor people."

"What did the dead blues musician sing? ""Didn't wake up this morning..."""