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Joke of the Day

"I used to work at an orange juice factory... I ended up getting fired because I couldn't concentrate."

"At the end of camp Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed. 'How did your trunk get so neat?' she asked her messy daughter. 'It was easy' said Julie. 'I just never unpacked!'"

"Drunk girls shouldn't even be allowed to have phones."

"What do two rednecks getting divorced and a tornado have in common? Someone is going to lose a trailer."

"Where are a squirrel and a chipmunk most likely to meet? A nut house."

"Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, ""Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?"" Then I wonder if it knows something I don't."

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."

"How many times can look at the sun with a telescope? You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!"

"Trump, Pence, Bannon, Sessions, Pompeo, Flynn, Priebus, Tillerson. Not sure Trump knows this but traditionally, you only need 4 horsemen."

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant."