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Joke of the Day

"One time I brought my kids to work with me and now my boss is way more tolerant of my drinking."

"Jesus walks..... Jesus walks into a holiday inn, tosses three nails on the counter and asks, "" Can you put me up for the night?"""

"I recently entered a blindfolded masturbation competition... I haven't seen the results yet so I've no idea where I came..."

"Did you hear about the man who got the left side of his body blown up? he's all right"

"What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ"

"what did the locomotive conductor crave once he became a zombie? traaaiins..."

"Why don't they let blind people sky dive? It scares the shit out the dogs."

"I like my women like I like my Isis victims. Topless. Remember, this is just a joke, so don't be offended. It's nothing to lose your head over."

"Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? because he was outstanding in his field."

"Drops empty vodka bottles in all the neighbor's recycling bins. So the garbage men don't think it's just me."