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Joke of the Day

"Probably not the first time you heard this. But, I have two very good qualities. One is memory, and I forgot the other one."

"I like my women how I like my whiskey....... Age 12 and all mixed up in coke."

"How do you spot will smith in the snow? Just look for the fresh prints."

"I want to write in my resume how experienced I am in burning bridges... ...but I don't have anybody to use as a reference."

"Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job."

"She said I was average. That's just mean."

"dont put all your eggs in one basket, put them in the little egg tray in the fridge thats what its for you idiot"

"The teacher asked... - ""Why did you bring your cat today Jimmy?"" - He replied, crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school!'"""

"Why did only 2 Mexicans cross the border? The sign said ""No Trespassing"" (TRES-Passing)"

"I heard diaria is hereditary It runs through your jeans"