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Joke of the Day

"A bottle of Rum goes up to a bottle of Vodka... ...and says, ""I'm stronger than you!"" Bottle of Vodka rolls up his sleeves and says ""Proof it"""

"My mum asked me if I had taken my lizard for a walk... ... I told her I was goanna do it later."

"Why does everyone make fun of Batmans old suit, the one with the nipples? Bats have nipples. Hell, that's the most sensitive part of a bat."

"What's the difference between children and Isis? Drones can't tell either"

"I got arrested the other day for holding a little girl's hand They wanted to know where the rest of her body was"

"What do you call a boy-band composed of stoners? No Direction."

"An actual quote by President George Bush ""The problem with the french is that they don't have a word for entrepreneurs"""

"Mary had a little lamb. The event made medical history."

"A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says ""You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"""

"Is Lobster Bisque a good rap name?"