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Joke of the Day

"If you've ever written a Yelp review of a Starbucks, I can help you kill yourself if you like?"

"Why isn't there a Superpig? It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth."

"what did the cornflake say to the other cornflake? Hi cornflake. don't blame me... you clicked on it... what did you expect?"

"The scarecrow won employee of the month again... He's outstanding in his field."

"If my grandmother was on Twitter, I bet most of her tweets would be about raisins."

"Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver."

"How do you tell if someone has an std? Oh shit wrong sub-reddit."

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"Hey everyone. I created a new word today. Plagiarism."

"Q: How did bulldogs get such flat noses? - A: From chasing cars."