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Joke of the Day

"It's hard to find true love these days. Even Charles Manson's fiance wanted him for his body."

"Did you hear about the proctologists collectible Corvettes? He wrecked em'."

"Psychic wanted: You know where to apply."

"There's a secret menu item at McDonald's but you can't order it, you can only get it by acting like a jerk. (Cheeseburger wiped on shoe)"

"My uncle was an exercise fanatic. When he died, we had a closed casket funeral, because he liked to do sit ups."

"A dad asks his son, ""What has four legs but isn't alive?"" The son says,""Nice try dad, a chair!"" ""Not this time son, our dog is dead"""

"All you dads out there couldn't hold a candle to my dad. He's petrified of candles."

"Girl just asked me to talk dirty so I described the space behind my fridge."

"The only B word you should be using to describe her is ""Beautiful."" Because bitches love being called ""beautiful."""

"DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew ME: [I don't hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]"