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Joke of the Day

"What is Chipotle most known for? - A. Steak Bowls - B. Delicious Tacos - C. Chips - D. Burritos - E. Coli"

"If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather what does he raise in wet weather? An umbrella."

"Hi, I'm Tim Cook and I will teach you how to count in decimals * 10.1 * 10.2 * 10.3 * 10.4 * 10.5 * 10.6 * 10.7 * 10.8 * 10.9 * 10.10"

"People with those rims that spin when the car isn't moving, how often do you have to replace the hamsters in those things?"

"My electric toothbrush broke so now I have to use my acoustic one"

"what do you call a mistake in a soup recipe? a Pho pas"

"I hear crowded elevators smell different to midgets it's because of all the assholes"

"Pete Rose had a 90 second ovation at the all star game. It brought a tear to his eye.... Because he took the over."

"Someone tried to touch my ass without my permission. Safe to say, I'm not letting anyone on my farm again."

"Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later."