216533
Joke of the Day
"How much does a hipster weigh? One instagram!"
Next Joke
"Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow."
"Never accept a rap battle from a cricket unless you know more than five words that rhyme with chirp."
"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."
"People really hate my cheesy puns... but I'm quite fondue of them."
"After everything I put, say to yourself 'So did Michael Jackson' I went to the beach on a sunny day. I saw an ice cream stall. I bought an ice cream. It melted."
"ME: I want to take long walks with you. HER: Aww...are you a romantic? ME: No, I don't have a car."
"What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication? Urine trouble!"
"You should never get married because it can ONLY end in literally 2 ways; divorce or death! Funny... but true."
"Mother-in-laws Two men are sitting in a pub when one turns to the other and says ""My mother-in-law is a saint,"" To which the other man replies ""You're so fucking lucky! Mine's still alive,"""