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Joke of the Day

"New rule: You're not allowed to be condescending unless you can spell it."

"My wife treats me like GOD!! She takes no notice of my existence till she wants something."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? THATS NOT FUNNY (must yell it)"

"Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness."

"I asked my racist granddad what does he think should be illegal... His reply, quite unsurprising, was ""Youth in Asia"" ."

"Of all the things we should be thankful for at this time of year, not being a turkey is probably the main one."

"What do you call two Filipino pilots? A pair of pliers"

"Did you hear about the guy who used 20% of his right not to incriminate himself? He plead the Fifth!"

"It was really hard for me to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey. But i've turned myself around, and that's what it's all about."

"I said goodbye to everyone at a party and then mistakenly walked into a closet and was too embarrassed to walk back out so I live here now."