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Joke of the Day

"Of all the things we should be thankful for at this time of year, not being a turkey is probably the main one."

"5: I went potty. Me: Did you remember to wipe this time? 5: No. Me: Why? 5: It's faster my way. I don't know how to counter that argument."

"""Alcohol doesn't affect me"" *Wakes up with cornrows, a light saber and two taxidermy lizards*"

"Sex is like math Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply!"

"How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins."

"What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat? Claude"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass"

"What do you call two lesbian dinosaurs? Lickalotypus."

"What do you call a half Mexican half German person? A Beaner Schnitzel."

"Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? he's 0k now."