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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different box..."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?"

"Age is just a number. (That roughly indicates how close you are to menopausing/getting super ugly/dying)"

"Bees Q; What kind of bees make milk? A; Boobies"

"The best part about being a grown-up is not having to answer to ANYONE! (What's that, honey? Be right there.)"

"Why do you call someone who doesn't like the ideas in Islam? A Racist!"

"What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people? Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!"

"I have a dog with no legs. His name is Cigarette because I have to take him out for a drag."

"I ran out of toothpaste recently So I've resorted to brushing with soap. It's pretty gross, but on the plus side I've really cut back on my swearing."