216151

Joke of the Day

"Phone rang for the 1st time in 4 months. My reaction was similar to finding a dead mouse on my porch. I circled it & poked it with a stick."

"I've just watched a distressing film on how African children have to walk up to ten miles to bring water to their village. I think it was far fetched."

"I named my cat ""Curiosity"". He killed himself ... Nine times."

"LOVED ONES: When I die, I want you to throw a sad party where you all look at my dead body US, FOR SOME REASON: Ok that's no problem"

"The reason we only have 1 moon is because if there were 2 they would look like a big pair of titys & everyone would die of horneyness"

"Just ignore me !"

"The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time.. Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours."

"My dad finally left me a voicemail where he didn't introduce himself. I think we're getting closer."

"I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit"

"My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say ""Gotham needs me"""