132008

Joke of the Day

"Now that the new bills have Harriet Tubman on them... if you put one on a television does that make it a tele-tubbie?"

"I bet by the time you were done listening to The Fray's ""How to Save a Life,"" the person choking on their food would be dead already."

"Did you hear the one where the Scotsman gave his son some money? Neither did I."

"It's like the people in this restroom don't even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU"

"I feel bad every time I lie to Waze and say I'm the passenger when I'm really driving."

"Could not decide how much lettuce to buy, until I got a second opinion two heads are better than one."

"Color-blind gang members always shoot the wrong guys."

"[job interview] ""Name one of your strengths"" I didn't stab anyone today ""That's not-"" Yesterday wasn't so good tho"

"Thursday doesn't even count as a day, it's just the thing that's blocking Friday..."

"Money doesn't buy happiness..."