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Joke of the Day

"*16 calls me at office* 16: Are you stopping at the grocery store tonight? Me: No 16: You're out of beer Me: Ok I will, what do you want?"

"Teacher: How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ? Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0"

"I saw a train today... It seemed really angry."

"getting my loan approved at the bank by lying on my back and executing a series of flawless air kicks right there in the lobbby"

"Does anyone have any good Tokyo Ghoul puns? I would love if someone would comment some Tokyo Ghoul jokes/puns! Or Attack on Titan... Thx!"

"[Founding Fathers] -But how do we get court witnesses 2 tell the truth? -They swear on a bible? -Thats stupid -Hey lunch's here -Done[gavel]"

"So let me get this straight: Trump supporters are butt hurt because someone overgeneralized them and called them a mean name? Oh, the irony."

"If I stabbed someone with icicle, no one would find the murder weapon, because it melts. This thought is haunting me."

"I like to write all my death threat letters in Comic Sans. I find it lightens the mood."

"What's a homophobic congressman's favorite place to swim? In da Nile"