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Joke of the Day

"You can't compare Tim Cook and Donald Trump It's like comparing apples to oranges."

"Rumour has it Toy Story 4 is going to focus on Andy's mom's toys Coincidentally, they are also called Woody and Buzz"

"Stranger: ""Excuse me where is the nearest..."" Me: ""GOOGLE IT!"""

"In my spare time, I help blind kids I mean the verb, not the adjective"

"It was my first time, I was nervous The first time I had sex I was really nervous, so I imagined my partner naked, it didn't help."

"There are two secrets in life The first is ""Never tell anyone everything you know"""

"AMA I left the Church of Scientology two weeks ago [Deleted]"

"I likes my liver like I likes my Twitter. Over capacity."

"What do you call a man with no hands and a book? A read-only man."

"Why do spoons live such diverse lives? They like to mix it up."