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Joke of the Day

"So it turns out that my girlfriend has been starring in amateur voyeurism porn videos. Boy is she going to be pissed when she finds out!"

"Did you hear about that car that runs on seafood? I heard it's very efishient"

"Son : ""Dad, who did I get my intelligence from ?"" Dad : ""It must be from your mother. I still have mine"""

"My resolution for 2016 is to call Starbucks ""Starbrights"" and Reese Witherspoon ""Ruth Witherspooks"" to keep my grandmother's legacy alive."

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar . . . . . . then she walks into a table, she knocks over a lamp, barks her shins on the ottoman, spills a drink . . . it's fine I'll show myself out."

"Why couldn't the melons get married? Because they can't elope."

"A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly."

"They say Republicans are toxic and Democrats are stupid. And they're right. Just kidding they're fags."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose... Glutes( )"

"A painting was arrested... It cried out ""I've been framed! Don't hang me!"""