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Joke of the Day
"Being single isn't always bad. Look at Kraft cheese for example."
Next Joke
"""If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end, the person will die."" -- Neil deGrasse Tyson https://twitter.com/neiltyson"
"""You know who else loved carbs? Hitler."" - excerpt from my book How To Diet Through Shame & Manipulation"
"I recently entered a blindfolded masturbation competition... I haven't seen the results yet so I've no idea where I came..."
"The Dentist says, ""When was the last time you flossed?"" The Patient replies, ""You should know, you were there!"" Heard this at the dentist this morning"
"I'm sorry, we can't hire you. But your background check was hilarious."
"I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder... ... just send them to concentration camps."
"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."
"""Chewing"" and ""eating"" are very similar things. But ""getting chewed out"" and ""getting eaten out"" are very different."
"Man is like spider.. .. bound to have sticky hand when on web!"