215762

Joke of the Day

"[couple who talks via walkie talkie] GIRL: [into walkie] this relationship is over, over GUY: *cries into walkie* it's roger isn't it?? over"

"-This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle."

"Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out...."

"The french word for ""unfortunately"" has 15 letters The english word for unfortunately has 13, but it's two short EDIT: For the curious, the french word is ""malheureusement"""

"What's the difference between a blimp and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear, the other's an awesome year."

"What are the 2 rules of success? No1 : Don't tell everything you know."

"I treat my body like a temple. By that I mean that a bunch of Jewish guys enter me every Friday night."

"Today I threw a penny down the well and made a wish. That the police would never find Penny's body."

"Did you know they now sell 30 tog blankets? Duvet?"

"What's difference between Caitlyn Jenner and Kim Kardashian? (Offensive) Nothing, both women got famous by making a dick disappear."