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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing sadder than a bald eagle with a combover"

"If ISIS would really like the world to take notice of their intentions! They should kill a lion."

"Light is useful It helps us 'c' things."

"I went to a military history exhibit at a museum in Little Italy. I saw a cool old German submarine. I walked up to a guy and said, ""Hey, is that a U-boat?"" He said, ""No, it's-a the museum's!"""

"My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word. What's that? Ouch!"

"- Do you want to have sex? - Don't you think you're going a little too fast? - Do......you......want......to......have......sex?"

"Window repairman: What happened did someone try to break into your house? Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk"

"Thought up this joke the other day What's the difference between a deaf dog and a one night stand? The one never comes when he's called and the other never calls after he comes."

"It is always the wrong time of month."

"I signed a petition to end women's suffering yesterday. Oops. Sorry: autocorrect. *suffrage."