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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year."

"20 yrs from now they'll make a movie on how Leonardo DeCaprio never won an Oscar. Plot twist the actor playing him wins an Oscar."

"Cats & Movies What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie? He paws-ed it!"

"With all those 'thoughts and prayers' on Facebook it's amazing people are *still* dying."

"I was confronted by an angry man today. I told him I come in peace Apparently that's something you shouldn't say to Peace's boyfriend"

"I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage."

"I told my doctor I was having issues during sex. He said Cialis. Could someone tell me where I find Alice?"

"How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet."

"Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol? Because they can't reach the top shelf."

"What is a seal's favorite drink? Club soda"