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Joke of the Day

"[wearing a 'World's Greatest Dad' t-shirt while talking to the bartender] ""The younger one is about 8 and the older one is older than 8."""

"I fucked a sarcastic girl. She loved it."

"I think my virginity has grown back."

"Where does an atom go when it breaks down? A quantum mechanic. lel"

"Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units."

"Why would the road cross the chicken? Because it had a death wish. It's well known that no one crosses the chicken and lives."

"What did the anus say to the nose? FRAAAAAAPPPBLAPPPPLAAAAAAAPBRENKKKKKKKKKK!!!"

"If I had a nickel for every time I was right and my parents were wrong. . . I would owe more than what America owes China."

"Women dream of world peace a safe environment and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls."

"My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has "" P "" no. of lives."