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Joke of the Day

"I built a house for a horse today but he said he wouldn't live in it as it didn't look stable enough."

"Life is like a penis, loose and hanging freely. Until a woman comes along and makes it hard."

"It's always fun running into an old friend you haven't seen in a while. But then you usually wind up regretting hitting them with a car."

"So Kanye West said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an an athlete that rarely moves."

"I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle. He said it was the most violent thing he ever read."

"First blowjob Guy: I got my first blowjob today. Friend: Was she good? Guy: She sucks."

"What is a proper greeting when you're introduced to Christina Hendricks? Nice to meet you both."

"When I die I want written on my tombstone ""Finally Offline""."

"What is a brain dead couples' favorite pizza? Veggie lovers"

"What is big, vibrates and makes a woman scream when put inside her? A chainsaw."