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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who had sex with his car? Apparently he was pretty Exhausted.... <.< .>.> I'll show myself out -.-"

"Lord of the Rings marathon -Do you know what a Lord of the Rings marathon is? -Yes -But do you know what a Lord of the Rings triathlon is? -No? -That's when you watch all three of them"

"I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace."

"Christmas is always awkward in Steve Harvey's house None of the presents have the correct names."

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture"

"Also, kids? Don't DM us pretending you are some school official cancelling school. Closings don't work like that. & we're not that dumb."

"What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex? Honey, I'm home!"

"How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon? The same way British people pronounce beer can."

"There have been reports of very heavy shelling...... At the peanut factory."

"A guy with a gun walks into a bar.. ""Which one of you fuckers slept with my wife?!"" A voice from the back shouted ""I don't think you have enough bullets, mate"""