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Joke of the Day

"There's no way that Cinderella was treated like shit her entire life, then a prince tells her he loves her & she wasn't like ""yeah right."""

"""It's a bird!"" [Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy's face] S: Birds can't go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot"

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong sock on this morning."

"What did the vampire say to his girlfriend at school? See you next period!"

"There were only 3 commandments until Moses' wife got involved."

"here come the bitches starting their winturrrrrr2012<3 facebook photo albums."

"Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter? He'll be Snowden."

"My 8yo's looking for a summer job. He's a pretty decent bartender if anyone's hiring."

"What's the best part of a woman? between 18 and 24 yrs"

"I came back from holiday in India with a really heavy case of diarrhea... ...but they wouldn't let me take it through customs."