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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick."

"What's the difference between karate and judo? Karate is self defense and you make bagels with judo (Jew dough)."

"I accidentally swallowed a contact lens today... I've never seen my colon with such clarity before."

"How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware problem"

"what's a good pick-up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"[first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus"

"with all of Canada's recent Olympic successes ... I was just thinking that we must ... have been on our 'eh' game. YEEEAAAHHH!!!"

"I'm not a racist Racism is a crime and crime is for black people."

"Some pages troll us by making a pixel or two on the page black so that we think it's a smudge... why would anyone do that? I just can't put my finger on it."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this *Pushes salad aside*"