114493

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between karate and judo? Karate is self defense and you make bagels with judo (Jew dough)."

"My dog loves me, but he also eats his own poop. I don't think I can trust his judgment."

"I have been having a lot more threesomes as of late. Ever since my wife got pregnant."

"Why did the butcher sell his shop? Because he couldn't meat his expenses"

"What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period."

"To all those people who said I would be an unfit parent, have you seen the little guy lately? Cause that would be a big help, I seem to have misplaced him."

"The bra my boyfriend gave me is really uncomfortable. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest."

"My wife and i were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"...I wanted to design defensive structures for the city.... as it turns out, not my Forte."

"I forgot to go to my seminar on mindfulness"