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Joke of the Day

"me and grandma are eating bread pudding and watching murder mysteries, she says what's up"

"Why did the pervert cough when he was caught molesting a pony? He was feeling a little horse."

"Guy walks up to his wife with a duck under his arm... ""Honey. This is the pig I've been fucking for the last ten years."" ""That's not a pig, it's a duck!"" ""I was talking to the duck."""

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!"

"What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie"

"What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes? The posters."

"I like my puns like I like my sausages... the wurst ones are the best."

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes a groan-up."

"Why did the tomato blush? He saw the salad dressing."

"""How'd you die?"" ""I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You?"" ""I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen"" ""Oh.."""