215346

Joke of the Day

"I should probably see someone about my mental health, like a drug dealer or bartender or something."

"Did you hear about the cat that wanted to be a justice on the Supreme Court? Just kitten."

"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days"

"At breakfast this morning, my wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter. I nearly choked on my #Brown"

"You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-ass it."

"why aren't mexicans and blacks suppose to have kids? because the children will be to lazy to steal."

"First thing heard on the news: ""You're gonna be wet by this time tomorrow morning"". Kinda looking forward to Tuesday now"

"The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, ""I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."" ""Thank you very much, sir."""

"What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes."

"Why do black people put their trash out in clear plastic bags? So that the Puerto Ricans can window-shop."