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Joke of the Day

"Poor Schapelle Corby, shes missed out on so much the past 10 years. Imagine the 1st time she goes to use the self serve checkouts at coles 'Unexpected item in bag.' ""Shit not this again"""

"I ordered the CliffsNotes version of Snooki's book and they sent me a bar menu, a printout of the urban dictionary and an STD pamphlet."

"Q: Why is the letter E like London? A: Because it is the capital of England."

"Cool prank: lead 50 pugs to the top of a waterslide & send them down 1 by 1 as the parents waiting at the bottom get increasingly confused"

"You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes"

"Sent out a mass text invite to my pity party & Autocorrect turned it into a pita party. Now I'm eating hummus with people I don't even like."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? Dragon Ball Z. Dragon Ball Z Who? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z"

"According to the employee handbook, I only require to show up sober. It doesn't say I can't drink once I get here."

"Trump interrupted Hilary Clinton up to 51 times in the first debate: Even grammer nazis interrupted fewer."

"Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists? They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. [explanation](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slit_experiment)"