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Joke of the Day

"Life is a lot like a Penis.. Simple,soft,straight,relaxed and hanging freely..then a woman makes it hard...!!!"

"Dear public restrooms: A toilet paper dispenser should turn loosely. Nobody wants to wipe their ass with a handful of confetti."

"When I think about you, I touch myself..... ......I rub my temples because you give me a goddamn headache..."

"What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots??"

"I wish I lived in the 20s so I could wear hats, smoke cigarettes and say stuff like, ""Hey big cheese, this giggle water is the cat's meow."""

"What do a tornado and a divorce in the South have in common? Someone is losing their trailer.."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff [Punchline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU)"

"Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky... The last German who tried to gas that many people had to commit suicide!"

"I can't wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online."

"The WORST trick the Devil ever pulled was trying to convince the world he wasn't fat by wearing a t-shirt in the pool."