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Joke of the Day

"Why did the horror fan switch off Cujo? Because he felt like IT"

"Back then: You are the bomb, yo Future: You are the clock, yo"

"I told my pregnant girl friend that she was as big as a 747. That did not fly."

"Can't figure out why my dog licks his balls. They taste fcuking disgusting."

"How many Ellen Paos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. The mods do that for her."

"Schizophrenic walks into a psychiatrists office . . . says, ""Doc, am I as crazy as he says we are?"""

"Willie Nelson's public statement regarding being caught with a bag of marijuana recently: ""It's a good thing I had a bag of marijuana. If it had been a bag of spinach, I'd be dead by now."""

"What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop? I can't decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!"

"I have a dead budgie for sale You may want it, but it's not going cheap."

"What do you call a red-headed ninja? A ginja... Ensue mildly dramatic slow clapping."