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Joke of the Day
"People always call me unattractive until they see my wallet... then they call me poor too."
Next Joke
"Friend: You'll find love again. Me: STOP THREATENING ME"
"""How much for this remote controlled alien?"" ""Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."""
"""Son, you were adopted."" ""What, really?"" I said. ""Yes, they're coming to pick you up in an hour"""
"Ladies, you should know that if I invite you to a movie I'm only after one thing: someone with a big purse I can store all my snacks in."
"If the Pottery Barn didn't want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn't have called it a barn."
"The person you are trying to stalk Is stalking another person.. Please wait"
"What happens to communists who are late to class? The get marxed tardy."
"I was on a first date. ""How many women have you slept with?"" she asked. I said, ""Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten?"" ""Oh, I say. Go on then."" she laughed. I said, ""0."""
"Why is my dog better than my girlfriend? I can throw her food on the floor, call her a bitch and she'll still play with my balls."