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Joke of the Day

"The doctor thinks I need a penis reduction I asked him if it could wait until after my golf tournament."

"Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants? A: They've had little use."

"What did the flatulent man say to the preacher during confession? Forgive me Father, for i have wind."

"Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, ""I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."" The other lowers her glasses and says, ""IC."""

"As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: ""I'm going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."""

"Population Control: Make birth control a psychedelic. You're welcome."

"I looked at my girlfriend this morning... And said, ""Hey babe! Name me a [hypocorism](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hypocorism)."" To which she rolled her eyes and said, ""Honey..."""

"Spatula would be a pretty name for a girl. A girl who spreads easily."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."

"I noticed that you're still staring at me after I already answered your question, what can we do to stop this"