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Joke of the Day
"Worst profession for take your kid to work day: Suicide Bomber"
Next Joke
"What aspect of the game do women soccer players like most? Getting that good D"
"[my kid, literally every school morning] ""I hate mornings. I'm not getting up"" [1st day of summer vacation] ""dad, can we watch the sunrise"""
"My girlfriend has this really weird fetish She likes to pretend she's 13 years old when we have sex. I don't know why, she'll be 13 in a couple of years anyway."
"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""
"Damn girl are you a Scientology Church? Because after I come inside you I'm going to be thoroughly disappointed and end up paying large sums of money for the rest of my life just to leave."
"I wonder if when my dog follows me into the bathroom it's cause I follow him outside when he goes and he thinks that's how it works. Meh."
"A girl's ass is like an onion... ...It'll give you really bad breath if you eat it raw!"
"Can Feburary March? No. But April May"
"Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams."