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Joke of the Day

"What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, i'm changing."

"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and they shouldn't be aired in public."

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? One to unscrew it, and one to hold the ~~cock~~ ~~father~~ ladder."

"Dad called me a cunt I always buy him socks for Xmas. I said, ""you bastard, it's the thought that counts."" I could tell by the look in his eyes he would have kicked my head in if he had legs"

"A cop stops a drunk man and asks: How high are you? The man replies: This is wrong english, you should say 'Hi, How are You?'"

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? ""Keep the tip."""

"Hey! I took my diaper off, see? Oh! Look! I found your power drill! Gonna go see if it fits an outlet.. Bye! -My 2yo when I'm on the toilet"

"Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York"

"Do you guys ever bite your tongue by accident? Do you guys ever hit a homeless man then just keep driving?"

"What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years? Second gear."